


Lost

by Lysmata



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex Needs Help, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kara cares for her sister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lysmata/pseuds/Lysmata
Summary: Kara hasn't heard from Alex in months, not since she had entered college. What Kara finds when she decides to visit shocks her to the core as she begins to truly realize that her sister is lost.
Kudos: 6





	1. Words Spoken, Hearts Broken

It was nearly three o'clock in the morning when the door to the apartment finally opened. Kara watched as a slim figure staggered through the doorway, grabbing the nearby coat stand for support. She could smell the cheap cologne and alcohol radiating off the figure's thin frame and Kara's disapproval continued to grow. This wasn't the older sister that she had grown attached to during her childhood. This wasn't the older sister that had sheltered her. This wasn't her Alex.

"Where have you been?" Kara asked, trying to keep the anger out of her voice.

Alex turned, instantly spotting the source of the voice across the darkened room. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized the speaker.

"Why do you care?" Alex snapped back with a slightly noticeable slur as she flicked the lights on. "How did you even get in here? You didn't fly to the balcony, did you?" She looked pointedly at the slightly open balcony door that let pleasantly fresh air into the apartment.

Kara shook her head as she stood up and approached her sister. "I still have the key you gave me. And I gave up flying years ago, remember? I haven't flown since—" She stopped herself but it was too late. The dangerous look in Alex's eyes that appeared whenever Jeremiah was referenced had already surfaced. Kara knew Alex was still bitter over her father's death. Alex had always kept from placing the blame on anyone but Kara noticed that during the past few months, Alex had started to blame her.

"When I got in here, all it smelled of was alcohol and sweat," Kara said, steering the conversation towards slightly safer waters. She glanced at the other couch covered in old, unwashed, sweat-stained clothes. "It needed a good refreshing."

Alex shrugged, tossing her keys onto a nearby table. "It was fine the way it was," she said dismissively. She crossed her arms. Kara could've sworn she was daring her to continue the current path of conversation. "Is that all you came here for? To comment on how you don't like the way my apartment smells?"

Kara ignored obvious challenging tone, opting instead to pick up a rather revealing dress from the couch. "When's the last time you washed all of this?" She wrinkled her nose at the smell, dropping the piece of clothing back onto the pile.

"Don't like it, don't touch it," Alex replied. "If this is all you're here about, a call would have sufficed."

"You haven't ever returned any of my calls the past few months," Kara reminded her. "If you had, I wouldn't be here. We haven't talked in ages, Alex. Which brings me back to my earlier question: where were you? In case you haven't noticed, it's three in the morning."

Alex shrugged. "I was out," she said as she stumbled towards the short refrigerator in the small kitchen area.

"Out getting drunk and partying like you have nothing else to do?" Kara asked as she followed her. "Because that's what Mom said you've been doing."

Alex turned abruptly to face the blonde Kryptonian. "What, has she been spying on me?" she demanded. "My life is my own business. She should get out of my life and so should you." The warning in her voice was unmistakable.

Kara stopped and watched as Alex reached into the fridge and pulled out two cans of beer.

"Alex, I think you've had enough to—" Kara caught a glimpse of the inside of the fridge just as Alex was beginning to close it and alarms went off in her head. Kara lunged forward, pushing past Alex and pulling the door open again. To her horror, the fridge contained nothing but alcohol.

"Alex, you—" Kara paused, swallowing with difficulty. "It's all…." She couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

Before she could react, Alex ripped the door from her grasp and slammed it shut. "You ever open that again and I swear you'll feel pain like you never have before." Alex's voice was low and dangerous and Kara stumbled backwards in shock. This wasn't playful Alex. This was dead-serious Alex. Her sister would never, ever threaten her. This couldn't be her sister.

And yet Kara knew it was. Alex had grown more and more distant the past few months. She had originally passed it up to be due to work but it soon became obvious that it was not. Alex had changed. Then came the night when her adoptive mother, Eliza, had appeared at her apartment door in tears. Kara remembered how Eliza had relayed her findings to her; how Eliza had begged her to stop Alex—to watch over her and protect her.

She hadn't believed it, not at first. But it was confirmed when she saw it with her own eyes. Kara could no longer deny what she feared. Alex was falling apart. Her strong and brave older sister was falling apart.

"Alex," Kara said carefully, "you need to stop this."

Alex chuckled, opening one can and taking a long draft from it. "It's funny how much you care."

Kara's jaw dropped and her frustration increased. "Of course I care!" she replied indignantly. "We're sisters, Alex! Stronger together! Surely you—"

"Have we ever really been sisters?" Alex frowned, leaning against the kitchen countertop. "We're not related by blood. You just came down from the sky and got dumped into my family."

Silence. Kara bit her lip, feeling the tears welling in her eyes. "Alex," she started, hearing her voice starting to break, "you don't mean that. You've had too much to drink." Kara knew the real Alex would have been horrified with what she was saying and she was determined to break through the outer shell of this stranger.

"Maybe you just can't handle the truth," Alex shot back casually.

Too casually. Kara's heart sank further. The sister she had known seemed to be gone, washed away from endless weeks of drinking. This was a whole new person.

"Alex, you know I'll always be here if you—"

"And what if I don't want you here?" Alex interrupted, moving away from the counter and walking towards Kara. "I was having a perfectly fine time until you showed up here," she said as she pointed a threatening finger at Kara.

Kara felt a tear escape down her cheek. "Alex, you're breaking my heart." She sniffled, suddenly feeling very small and lonely. Panic ripped at her as she realized how far Alex had fallen; how far Alex had been pushed until she finally broke. Her loving sister was gone. In her place was an alcoholic; an unrecognizable stranger. "Please...you—"

"You broke my heart when you landed on this planet!" Alex roared back, face flushed red and furious. "You came into my life and ruined it! Do you know how many sleepless nights I had to endure because of you? How many grades lowered because of you?"

"Alex—"

Kara didn't have time to duck and the full can of beer that Alex hurled hit her square in the side of the face. With a cry of surprise and pain, she dropped to her knees and doubled over. Reflex tears sprung in her eyes, but she was still able to make out her precious lead-lined glasses lying on the floor in two pieces.

"You were a freak, Kara! I sacrificed my life for your success. For your happiness!" Alex stalked unsteadily towards Kara. "And what did I get in return? Nothing!"

The tears came freely now for Kara and she looked up at the figure that she had called her sister her whole life on Earth. One that now towered over her, angry and menacing. "Alex…" she whimpered softly, but Alex would have none of it.

"You don't deserve to talk to me!" the brunette shouted, roughly pulling the blonde to her feet before giving her a rough shove towards the door. "Get out." Her voice was unfamiliar to Kara—never before had she heard this tone from her sister.

Alex stepped over her, grabbing the doorknob and violently wrenching the door open. "Get out, now!"

Kara sank to her knees, sobbing. "Alex, please," she begged through her tears, kneeling ashamed on the ground. "I love you, Alex."

Alex grabbed the Kryptonian's shoulders, forcing Kara to meet her gaze. "No you don't," she said slowly. "If you did, you would never have come into my life." She grabbed Kara's arm and pulled her back up, half-dragging her towards the door. When Alex let go, Kara sank to her knees again just a few paces from the door.

"I swear, Kara," Alex threatened, "either you walk out of that door or I'll make sure you feel real pain through your invulnerability." Never before had Kara heard a voice so venomous.

Reluctantly, sobbing and begging, Kara rose. She felt Alex put her hands on her shoulders and she desperately tried to resist being shoved backwards out of the apartment. "Alex, please, you have to stop! You need help!" Kara twisted and thrashed, but Alex's grip was too strong and she couldn't break free.

With one final shove from Alex, Kara went sprawling on her back into the hallway and she gave a cry of pain at the impact. She looked back up at her sister, terrified of who she saw. "Alex—"

"I don't ever want to see your face again," Alex hissed, her face contorted with rage.

The door slammed shut and Kara was instantly pressed against it, pounding her fists on it. "Alex, let me in," she wailed. "Please..."

But there was no response. And she knew there would be none.

"I need you, Alex..."

* * *

She stayed like that for some period of time. Whether it was minutes or hours, she had no clue. At long last, Kara gave in. She had no the energy to continue the constant pounding. Occasionally the tears would return as she sat doubled over, forehead pressed against the door. Praying that Alex would sober up and open the door. That everything would be alright. That this was just a nightmare. But deep in her heart, Kara knew there was no happy ending to be found.

Some time later, Kara felt her phone buzz in her pocket and she listlessly pulled it out, turning off the wake-up alarm set to 6:45 AM. She dully realized that she'd stayed at Alex's door for hours even after Alex had thrown her out of the apartment like trash.

_That's what I am_ , Kara thought numbly as she stood up. _Trash. Trash, for letting this happen. For not being good enough._

She took one last look at the door that led to her beloved older sister's apartment before she left. Slowly, Kara ran a hand down the polished wood and her throat tightened. "Good-bye Alex," she said with a choked whisper. "I love you…"


	2. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara and Alex deal with the aftermath of their argument...

Kara sighed as she crushed her report draft into a ball and tossed it behind her. _Nothing is going right today._ She buried her head in her arms as she lay on the desk, trying to calm herself with deep breaths.

"Ms. Danvers, I must say that I am truly shocked," she remembered her professor telling her after her morning class. He had a look of utter disappointment on his face and it had broken her heart to see her favorite professor so disappointed in her. "You were the top student just a few months ago," he had continued, "and now you've somehow made it to near-bottom. I do hope you don't continue this new trend of being late to class."

She had nodded, assuring him that she would do better, that she would rise back to the top, that she would get to class on time. "It's just a whole bunch of things I've got going on right now," she had told him. "Things will get better soon, I promise." Her statement failed to convince either of them.

Kara sat up again, pulling a new sheet of paper out of the pack and tried to concentrate on completing the unfinished report again. She scribbled a sentence, then frowned and scratched it out before following up with a new sentence, which she also promptly scratched out.

With a sharp crack, the outer casing of her pen collapsed inwards and Kara glanced down blankly at its remains before tossing it onto the small pile of other pens that she had broken out of frustration. She went to take off her lead-lined glasses to rub her eyes and, with dismay, remembered that they were still broken on the floor in Alex's apartment.

_Alex._ The thought of her sister brought the guilt flooding back and she stood quickly, throwing her head back and pacing around her small apartment room as she tried to push it back. Whenever Kara needed help, Alex was the first person she'd contact, but that was no longer an option and she realized with despair that there was no one that she had ever been closer to. Without Alex, she had no one.

For a brief moment, Kara entertained the thought of calling Alex, imagining the brunette answering tearfully and apologizing; that everything would go back to the way it always had been. She tossed the idea just as quickly as it had appeared to her. There was no way Alex wanted to talk to her. _Nor do I want to talk to her. Not after last night._

Kara collapsed onto her bed, glancing at the clock on her bed stand. _10:37 AM. A good twenty-nine hours since I last got sleep._ Her eyes were painfully dry and she knew that if she looked into a mirror, they would clearly be bloodshot.

As her gaze wandered the room, they fell upon an old picture frame sitting on the dresser. Kara stood up, walking over to it and picking it up. It had been taken years ago, shortly after her first year on Earth. She and Alex had both been smiling as they stared off into the distance. Kara remembered the orange of the sky clearly as they had watched the sun set across the ocean.

Alex had turned to her, a content expression on her face. "Kara, I loved being an only child."

Kara had glanced at her, slightly puzzled as to where Alex was going with the conversation.

"I loved the freedom I had, the things I was spoiled with," Alex continued as she looked back at the sunset and a smirk touched her lips, "and the things I could get away with." She turned back to the Kryptonian, clasping her sister's small hands in her own. "But I was given a gift."

The sky was darker now, with a slight chill in the air as the wind blew pleasantly. Alex looked back at Kara and her gaze grew softer.

"And while sometimes it may seem like I want to return this gift to wherever it came from...to go back to things as they were...I want you to know that I truly treasure this gift. Because, of all the people in the world, I was lucky enough to become your sister."

At that, Kara had smiled as well and surprised the brunette by enveloping her in a tight hug. "I love you too, Alex," she had replied as she nestled her head into her sister's shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of her sister.

"I'll always be there for you," Alex had told her as she returned the embrace. "I promise."

Kara sat on the edge of the bed, reliving the memory as she felt tears welling. "I love you, Alex," she said to the young, happy Alex in the photo. "I'm sorry I couldn't be a better sister." A tear fell and landed on the frame and she dabbed at it with the edge of her sleeve. "I'm sorry for keeping you up for hours every night. For keeping you from your friends. For being such a helpless child that you always needed to take care of me." She gave a sad, teary smile.

And not for the first time, Kara wished that things could be like they were before. That Alex could smile and laugh and joke and not have to worry about life's troubles. That she could have her sister back.

Before long, the guilt overtook her again and the tears fell. Kara curled up on the bed, letting go of the pain that she had been holding inside. Her last thought before her exhaustion gently sent her to sleep was of Alex and her last sensation was the comforting warmth of her sister's photograph that she held tightly to her chest. _I promise you, Alex. I promise you that next time, I'll be better. I'll be stronger. I'll be the sister that you can be proud of._

* * *

The sun was shining brightly and Alex groaned as she stretched out and worked her sore jaw. _Must have been clenching it in my sleep._ Her mouth was dry and had a terrible aftertaste in it. As she regained sensation in her limbs, she realized that she had fallen asleep on the cold, hard, uncomfortable floor. She sat up, then promptly moaned in pain and doubled over as the movement brought to her attention the throbbing headache that bounced around inside her skull.

Alex rubbed her eyes, sinking her head into her hands as she waited for the throbbing to lessen. Eventually, after the throbbing had diminished to a slightly more bearable level, she lifted her head and carefully looked around her apartment. As she did, a glint caught her eye and she shuffled on her knees over to the object, frowning in confusion.

It took her a few seconds to recognize the object that lay in two pieces, but she knew Kara's special lead-lined glasses anywhere. _Why are they here?_ Slowly, the memories flowed back to her. Being drunk, returning home, finding Kara. _But where is she?_

And then it hit her. First confusion, followed by disbelief, and then finally, horror. Alex remembered. Her breath left her as she dropped to her hands and knees, staring at the glasses. "No, no, no, no, no, no," she repeated as she gathered the broken glasses.

Ignoring the pain in her head, she grabbed the nearby counter and pulled herself up, stumbling towards her bedroom. In her mind, she could see Kara lying in the bed greeting her happily. But as she lurched through the doorway, she saw the sheets were still messy as she had left them the day before. Her sister was nowhere to be found.

Alex turned back, leaning against the door frame for support as she clenched her eyes shut and waited for the wave of pain to pass again. As she opened her eyes again, she saw the door. _The door that I shoved my little sister through._ A lump rose in her throat and she suddenly found it hard to breathe.

Tears welled in her eyes and before she knew it, she had backed up to sit on the edge of her bed, blinking rapidly to push the tears back. _No, I can't do this now._ Alex took a deep, shuddering breath to calm her racing pulse. It seemed to calm her and when she tried again, she force the air out more forcefully. _I need to go. I need to get out of here. I need—_

Alex knew she needed to forget. She knew exactly what she needed to do. She knew exactly where she needed to go. Before she knew it, her coat was already on and her keys were in her hands.

Some part of her was telling her that this was wrong; that this would only make it worse. She shoved that voice to the back of her mind, focused on her goal. She needed a release, no matter what it took. After all, she knew she was worthless. With a violent heave, Alex slammed the door shut. _There's no hope for me anymore. I'm not worth it._

* * *

Alex sat on the edge of her bed, staring blankly at the floor. It had been a day since the man, Hank Henshaw, had come to her cell and pulled her out of prison. Tomorrow was her first day at the Department of Extra-Normal Operations and she was determined to make a good showing to get her life back on track.

As she turned to set her alarm clock to the proper time, something on her bed stand caught her eye and she found herself looking directly at a photograph of her and Kara smiling at something out of the shot.

Alex bit her lip and picked up the picture frame. She remembered the night the photo had been taken. They had been sitting, watching the beautiful ocean sunset and she distinctly remembered the beautiful orange glow that the sun had cast on the sky as it set. She knew that something important had happened that night, but the memory was just out of reach.

"Kara, I loved being an only child," she remembered herself telling her sister. "I loved the freedom I had, the things I was spoiled with, and the things I could get away with." She remembered how she had taken Kara's tender hands into her own, gazing gently into the blonde's eyes. "But I was given a gift."

Alex remembered Kara's tender expression, worried yet hopeful. It had tugged at her heart, her love for her little sister growing with each passing moment that they shared.

"And while sometimes it may seem like I want to return this gift to wherever it came from...to go back to things as they were...I want you to know that I truly treasure this gift." Alex had smiled as she took a shaky breath, eyes glistening with tears. "Because, of all the people in the world, I was lucky enough to become your sister."

She remembered their embrace, feeling Kara's smaller body pressed against her tightly. She had known in that moment that Kara needed Alex just as much as she needed her. And suddenly, like a beacon of light in the darkness, Alex remembered.

"I'll always be there for you," she had said as she returned the embrace. "I promise."

The words reverberated within Alex as she remembered her promise to her sister, but her guilt struck harder. This time, she couldn't stop the tears and she clutched the precious picture frame tightly against her chest as she cried to herself.

"I'm so sorry, Kara," Alex sobbed, wishing that her sister could hear her. Wishing she could take back the last few months. "I never meant to hurt you." But she knew that the harm had been done and there was no going back now.

"I love you, Kara. You're my light. You're my beautiful, innocent little sister. I never should have done any of this to you." She was ashamed that she could have said what she had said to Kara, drunk or not. No, there was no way she should have said it. And yet she did.

Alex wanted so badly to go to Kara's apartment and apologize, but she knew it would do no good. No, for her to gain Kara's forgiveness, she had to be better than before. She had to grow stronger.

She stiffened her upper lip, biting back the tears and looking again at the photo. "Kara, I promise to you," Alex said, determined, "that I will be better than this. I have an opportunity and I'm going to turn my life around, I swear." Her gaze softened and she gently placed the picture frame back on her bed stand. "I promise to you that I'll be the sister that you can look up to. That you can trust. That you can love."

"I won't let you down again," Alex promised softly as she lay in bed with the lights off. She took one final glance at the photo of Kara smiling at the distant sunset. "I'll make you proud. I'll put my life back together."

As exhaustion took her, the last thing she saw was Kara's smiling face in the photo, and her last thought was of her sister before all ceased and there was only darkness. _For you, Kara._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated. They make me a better writer.
> 
> As always, I would like to give a very special thank you to my two beta readers MarvelDC31 and Mama Wolf Pack for their patience in putting up with me and my crazy schedules. You've both helped to make me a better writer and to make this chapter as compelling as it possibly could be.


	3. The Bonds We Share

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Kara look to repair what was broken...

Alex stood at the door, biting her lip as she tried to gather the confidence necessary to knock. Though she remembered the door as being the gateway to excitement in the past when she would knock on it when visiting her sister, it now seemed ominous as it barred her way. It had been months since Alex had thrown Kara out of her apartment and she had no idea what her sister thought of her now.

Gritting her teeth, she knocked three times and waited. To her surprise, there was no response. She frowned and knocked again. This time, though, she made sure to count the seconds that passed. After a minute, there was still no response and doubt wormed into her mind.

_What if she doesn't want to see me?_ The thought tore at Alex's insides and she exhaled forcefully in frustration. She glared at the door, knocking again three times. For a moment, she considered kicking the door open just as she had been taught as a DEO agent, but she quickly discarded the idea. _No sense in forcing Kara to replace her door when I'm looking for forgiveness._

Alex put the lead-lined glasses that she had been holding back into its protective case. She had gotten them repaired just a few days ago. Though she knew Kara had probably already gotten a replacement pair, she felt that her sister would appreciate having the pair that Jeremiah had gotten for her, even if just for memory's sake.

She dug her hand into her pocket, grabbing her keys and pulling out the one she knew would unlock the door. _I doubt she even remembers giving it to me when she first moved in,_ Alex mused. She inserted the key into the handle, feeling the click of the lock as she turned the key. _One…two…_ Alex turned the handle and pushed the door open.

"Kar—" Her voice faded out as she took in the condition of the apartment, shocked into silence.

The drapes over the windows were closed, bathing the apartment in darkness. Alex frowned. _Kara loves the sun. She loves the morning sunrise. She loves the fresh air from the windows._ Without the sunlight illuminating the apartment, the room seemed depressed and foreboding.

"Hello?" she asked as she hesitantly stepped into the apartment. "Kara?" There was no response and she nudged the door closed behind her, pulling out her small service pistol as she did so. _Never hurts to be prepared._

She glanced at the kitchen, noticing the massive pile of dirty dishes that seemed to have collected there for some long period of time. The couch was in a similar condition, with clothes haphazardly strewn over it. _Not unlike how my apartment was,_ Alex realized.

Alex made her way to the bedroom, not finding Kara but noticing the messy bed and empty clothing rack. The small trash bin was full of tissues and there were pictures scattered on the small desk in the room. At closer glance, she realized they were all from childhood. Alex picked up a picture frame off of the bed stand. To her surprise, it was the same one that she had on her own bed stand in her own apartment—the one where they watched the sunset together. _I didn't know she had her own copy of it._

She walked back into the living area, satisfied that there was no threat in the apartment as she holstered her sidearm. With her hands on her hips, she surveyed the state of the apartment. _Something is wrong with my sister,_ she knew. _Something made her act this way. Something upset her._ Alex beat herself mentally, angry that she hadn't been able to be there for Kara when she needed her.

_That changes now though,_ Alex told herself. _I'm worthy enough to be Kara's sister again._ She nodded firmly to herself. T _hat starts with cleaning up your apartment, you messy little brat._

Sighing contentedly, Alex set off to surprise her Kryptonian little sister with a thoroughly cleaned apartment. _Luckily I have recent experience cleaning my own apartment,_ she thought to herself.

* * *

Kara wrung her hands apprehensively, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she waited for the door to open. Mentally, she reviewed what she would say to her sister. _Hi Alex, I'm sorry about being insensitive before. I know you're having a tough time right now, but I want you to know that I want to help._ She winced internally. _It sounds like something out of a TV show._ Nonetheless, Kara continued to compile her speech.

_I know we haven't spoken at all in the last few months. I've had time to think and I want to help you. Only if you'll accept it, of course. I don't want to force you to do anything. I think you need help, though._

She frowned and knocked on the door again. _It shouldn't take this long for her to answer,_ she thought impatiently. Kara paced left and right, hands behind her back, before finally letting out an exasperated sigh.

_What if she's dead?_ The thought leapt unbidden to the front of her mind and the shock of it stopped her mid-pace. _What if she's passed out on the floor, drowning in whiskey and her own vomit?_ Kara felt the urge to use her super-vision to peer behind the door, but she held back as she tried to adhere to the promise she made to Jeremiah years ago to never use her powers. Her worry for Alex overrode the promise, though, and she broke it without a second thought.

Kara lowered her glasses out of habit. Though she no longer had her lead-lined glasses that Jeremiah had given her and could actually see through these ones with her super-vision, the habit was hard to break. Taking a deep breath as she prepared for the worst, she peered through the door.

To her relief, Alex was not sprawled across the floor as Kara had imagined in her mind's eye and she let out a sigh of relief. In fact, Alex was nowhere to be found in the apartment. Kara frowned. _She should be home,_ she thought as she pushed her glasses back up and checked her phone.

She felt her pocket for the key to the apartment, hesitating before unlocking the door as she remembered her promise to Alex not to enter the apartment without permission. _I only want to see,_ Kara reasoned. Smiling at the justification, she opened the door and stepped in. The smile faded from her face.

The apartment was clean. Too clean. The dirty clothes that had been piled on to the couch were now clean and crisply folded. The apartment smelled like Alex and home, familiar and comforting, but overall the apartment was too clean, too bare. Almost as if it had been thoroughly cleared. Cardboard boxes lay scattered throughout the living area with various items inside. It reminded Kara of a place she had seen before, but she couldn't remember it.

Then it hit her. _It looks like Alex's room after she packed up for college._ Kara felt panic rising up within her. _What if she's leaving National City?_

She ran to the bedroom, looking wildly for any sign of her sister. The bedroom was just as clean as the rest of the apartment. There were no sheets or pillows on the bed, however. All the clutter had been removed from the bed stand so that only an alarm and a picture frame were there. Like the rest of the apartment, only the bare minimum remained.

Suddenly, it all made sense to Kara and she sat on the edge of the bed, trying to compose herself. _Why?_ she asked herself, _Why would she be leaving?_ Tears rose to her eyes and she knuckled them to keep them from falling. _Why would Alex want to leave?_

But deep inside, Kara already knew the answer. _It's because I'm not good enough for her. I couldn't help her in time. I had my chance but I blew it._ She sniffled, looking around for a tissue to cry into. As she did, the picture frame on the bed stand caught her eye and she picked it up.

To her surprise, it was the exact same photo that she had on her own bed stand—the one taken as they both watched the sunset one summer night long ago. The first tear rolled down Kara's cheek. She understood now. Alex kept the picture frame because she believed in Kara until the very end. She had believed that her Kryptonian sister would be able to pull her out of her mess.

_But I failed._ Kara gently placed the picture frame back on the bed stand and pulled her knees up to her chest as she began to cry. The tears were for her at first, for not being good enough. For not being there for Alex until it was too late. But then she cried for her sister too; for Alex not having a sister strong enough to help her through the troubled period. _I didn't deserve you, Alex. I wish you could have had a better sister instead of a failure like me._

Gradually, the tears came to an end and, sniffling, Kara made her way back to the door. She hesitated before closing the door behind her, turning to glance back at the apartment. She bit her lip and dipped her head, swallowing hard. "Goodbye," she whispered as she pulled the door closed. She didn't bother to leave a note for Alex.

_If she wanted to say goodbye to me before she left, she would have found me herself,_ Kara reminded herself. _She just doesn't think you're worth it anymore._ And Kara couldn't fault her sister for that. Slowly, she trudged her way home. Dimly, she noticed that the sky had darkened outside and rain was starting to pour, which did nothing to raise her mood. _How cliché,_ she thought with dark humor, _that it's raining during a sad moment. It's like I'm living my own soap opera._

* * *

Alex glanced at the pouring rain outside of the window, frowning. _I hope Kara isn't walking around in that._ She turned her attention back to sorting out the clutter that covered her sister's desk. _Junk mail, junk mail, and more junk mail…_

_At_ the very bottom of the pile, Alex found a single unsealed envelope with a folded paper inside. She dismissed it and placed it to the side at first, but something written on the other side of the letter prompted her to flip it over. To Alex's surprise, it was addressed to her. She frowned, confused. _Why would Kara have a letter addressed to me?_

Alex pulled out the paper and unfolded it, noticing that the words were written in her sister's beautiful handwriting. She skimmed the first few words, then quickly jumped to the end signature to make sure that it was truly Kara who wrote it. Satisfied that it was her sister's work, Alex started again from the beginning.

_Dear Alex,_

_I know things have been rough for you these past few months. I'm sorry about that. I know I've been a lousy excuse for a sister and I'm sorry about that too. I hate seeing you like this, Alex. I hate seeing you falling to this low of a level. I took everything from you when I landed on Earth. I know that I cost you your life and your future. I'm sorry for that too._

_Alex, I want you to know that you mean everything to me. Without you, I never would have been able to accept that Krypton was gone. I never would have been able to let go of my life there so that I could live my life here on Earth. We may have lived our lives as only children for some time, but we're sisters now. You brought me out of my darkness and now it's my turn. I want to be here for you to bring you out of your darkness. Please Alex, I need you to let me in. Can't you see you're hurting yourself?_

_Be my sister again, Alex. Please. I need you._

_Forever yours,_

_Kara_

Alex dropped the letter to the table, working her jaw as she tried to make sense of the letter. Finally, she understood. Finally, she realized exactly what had happened to her precious sister. _I happened. I forced her into this depression._ She knew exactly what she had to do. _It's my job to get her out of it, just like she got me out of mine._

She heard the doorknob rattle and open and she quickly folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. She glanced at her reflection in Kara's makeup mirror, making sure that she was presentable. Then she frowned as she heard a noise she hadn't heard in a long time, not since several months ago. She could have recognized it anywhere. Kara was crying.

Alex was out of the bedroom in a flash, rushing to be at her sister's side. Kara stood with her back to Alex as she closed the door, leaning against it as she sobbed miserably. To Alex's horror, the blonde Kryptonian was thoroughly soaked in rain, dripping all over the floor.

"Kara!" She arrived at her sister's side, running a hand through the blonde's wet hair and hugging her around her shoulders. "Hey, hey, I'm here…"

The Kryptonian spun around abruptly to face her and Alex's heart melted as she saw the devastated expression on her sister's face.

"You're okay...let's get you dried up, alright?" She grabbed a nearby towel, gently wiping the rain and tears off Kara's cheeks before patting her hair and upper body dry.

"Kara, what were you doing in the rain?" Alex asked gently, searching her sister's eyes for an explanation. "I don't care if you can't get sick, it's not healthy for you to be out there cold and drenched in the rain." Kara seemed much drier than before, but she still hadn't moved a muscle. "Kara? What's wrong?"

"Alex…?" Kara whimpered hesitantly through her sobs.

"I'm here, sis," Alex crooned softly as she studied her sister's expression, keeping her hands on Kara's shoulders. "What's wrong?"

Kara threw her arms around Alex, surprising her. Alex quickly returned the hug, squeezing her drenched sister to her with all her strength as the blonde buried her head into her shoulder.

"I thought you were leaving," Kara wailed. "I thought you didn't want me anymore."

Alex felt a lump in her throat as tears welled in her own eyes. _I was right,_ she realized sadly. _It's all because of me._ "I'd never leave you," she reassured her sister. "There's no way. I'll always be here for you. What could possibly make you think otherwise?"

"Do you promise?" Kara asked softly, reminding Alex of when the blonde had been a scared alien long ago.

Alex nodded, rubbing her sister's back comfortingly. "I promise. I'll be here forever." They stood there together, with Kara continuing to drip rainwater onto the floor, before Alex reluctantly pulled away from Kara's embrace.

"Come on, you need to get yourself dried and change out of your wet clothes." Kara sniffled as she allowed herself to be led to the bedroom. "Get changed, okay?" Alex gave Kara an encouraging smile. "I'll be right here when you come out, I promise."

It wasn't long before Kara emerged again in dry clothing and joined Alex on the newly-cleared couch. She was still sniffling, but the miserable sobbing had subsided and Alex was grateful for that.

"Now, what were you doing out there in the rain?" Alex asked gently. She looked took Kara's hands in her own as she looked calmly into her sister's teary eyes.

"I went to your apartment," Kara replied softly. "I wanted to make sure you were okay. I wanted to apologize. But you weren't there." Her lip trembled again and the tears seemed moments away from falling again. "I saw the boxes. I thought you were moving away from me."

Alex's eyes softened as she gazed at her sister. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she said. "I was cleaning all the junk from my apartment so I could have a new start. I wanted to surprise you when I worked up enough courage to call you over again."

Kara nodded in understanding, looking down at their joined hands. They sat in a comfortable silence. It had been too long since they had been apart and they both sorely missed the sisterly connection that they shared. "Why are you here?" she asked the brunette, then quickly continued as she realized Alex could take offense to the question, "Not that I don't want you here. Just...curious."

"I wanted to surprise you," Alex replied. "I wanted you to see that I've changed. That things have gotten better for me." She frowned at Kara's glasses, slowly sliding them off and ignoring the confused look at the blonde gave her.

"I got a replacement pair," Kara tried explain. "But I couldn't find any lead-lined ones."

Alex chuckled. "Yeah, they don't really appeal to the Kryptonian minority market." She set the cheap pair of glasses to the side before pulling out the protective glasses case from her pocket and handing it to her sister. "Maybe these will suit you better."

The lid opened with a click and Kara gasped in surprise. "You fixed them?" she asked incredulously, staring at Alex. Kara grabbed the lead-lined glasses, cradling it and feeling its weight in her hand before trying them on again. "They're just like I remembered."

"I know how it reminds you of Jeremiah and our childhood," Alex said, smiling. "I knew you'd be heartbroken without it." She gestured around the apartment. "What happened to your apartment? It looked suspiciously like mine before, except I know you can't get drunk."

Kara's cheeks reddened and she looked away, embarrassed. "I...uh...may have gone through a period of isolation." She glanced around at the apartment closely for the first time, an expression of surprise slowly spreading across her face before she turned back to her sister. "You—"

Alex nodded. "You looked like you needed a little help," she said simply. The grateful look that she received from the blonde was reward enough and it warmed her heart. "No thanks needed. I also cleaned your room. And your desk."

"You cleaned my—" Horror dawned on Kara's face and she made a move to stand up before Alex grabbed her arm and pulled her back down. "Alex, did you…?"

Alex looked at Kara until their eyes met. She knew Kara was referring to the letter. Several emotions rushed through her and she opened and closed her mouth several times, trying to decide how to reply. In the end, she simply poured all of her regret, sadness, and compassion into her gaze. "I'm sorry. For everything."

Kara held out her arms and Alex quickly moved closer, wrapping her younger sister in a tight embrace. They stayed like that, soaking in each other's presence. It reminded the two of them of their childhood, when they would snuggle together as they protected each other from the day's troubles.

Instinctively, they both knew that they were both making silent promises to each other. Instinctively, they both knew that everything would return to normal. _Because love bonds us all,_ Alex thought fondly as she cried happy tears into her sister's shoulder. _Bonds that will hold forever_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Concluded.
> 
> Thank you to all of you who have supported "Lost" during its long, three-chapter journey. I hope all of you have enjoyed following this fic just as much as I have enjoyed writing it. As always, comments and constructive criticism are always appreciated. They help make me a better writer and allow me to better appeal to you, the readers!
> 
> I would like to graciously thank my two beta readers, MarvelDC31 and Mama Wolf Pack, for the dedication and hard work that they have put into helping me write and edit "Lost". Without their help, these three chapters would have had many more typos and grammatical errors than I could catch by myself.
> 
> At the moment, I do not currently have any new ideas that I am working on. Writing this fic has taken a lot out of me. However, I'm sure that inspiration will strike me again and I will once again have something for all of you to enjoy. Personally, I enjoy expanding on the unexplored events that the show references, which was the motivation of this fic. So until I next post...farewell!

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Special thank you to my wonderful beta readers MarvelDC31 and Mama Wolf Pack. You both helped make me a better writer and to make this fic as best as it possibly could be.


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